Don’t Be Afraid of Success

Don’t Be Afraid of Success

Frequently, I see that some students are so afraid to fail that they fear success, too. This happens in the classroom, the sports field, and in life. They are waiting to fail rather than expecting to succeed.  One perfect example is my oldest daughter. She is super intelligent, beautiful, and a hard worker. She was a high school senior cheerleader last year, and there were six other seniors on the cheerleading squad.

She was elected as one of the captains. Her first reaction was a sad one because she felt badly about the other cheerleaders that were not selected. Empathy is a wonderful leadership trait, and I am proud she possesses that one. However, I told her not to fear success. Be proud of your accomplishment and continue to connect with your teammates. Just because you do not have a title does not mean you are not a leader.

I had a parent tell me one time that everyone does not have to be a leader. That is true but if you are not a leader then you are always a follower. Someone else is making all the decisions for you. You may not like how those decisions affect you. You become a bystander, and someone else controls your destiny. Not only do they control your destiny but you become disempowered. The opposite, empowerment, can make quantum leaps in anyone’s ability to succeed.

It is remarkable to see an empowered student rise in situations that require positive leadership. Students, and adults alike, must self-communicate their worth and their ability to contribute. Motivate yourself, inspire others! A positive attitude and confidence are catchy. So are gratitude and a number of other positive character traits. Pass them on!

“I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” Ralph Nader

Leadership is not defined by a position or popularity. Leadership is a choice. I can debate this point with a number of contemporary leadership authors but you have to agree that everyone has a choice. You also have a choice as to the type of leader you portray. There are great leaders then there are great, bad leaders.

I call the great, bad leaders: “Tater Tot Leaders.” I use the analogy of a school cafeteria. One kid throws a tater tot, and I have to admit, the size and shape are conducive to throwing. Then another kid throws one. Before you know it, the whole table is throwing tots. The one kid that threw the first tot is a leader, he has followers but he led in a bad direction. I can use the same comparison to some very bad world leaders that had whole countries following them.

Some authors will deliberate that leaders are born. I will argue that there are some circumstances that may be advantageous to your quality of life and your opportunities because we aren’t all born on a level playing field. However, as life progresses, your ability to lead and the direction you choose to lead are entirely up to you. In fact, this type (power) of leadership stifles the leadership potential within the organization. These types of leaders lack the ability to reach their potential because they associate power or lack of power as vulnerability that deteriorates their leadership. On the contrary, once you think you need invincibility you become a fairytale leader that will allow the organization to perish because you try to live forever without setting up your organization to thrive in the long-term.  

Positional leaders take the power wherever they go, so to speak. These people define leadership as power, and they think there is a finite amount of leadership. These people will not promote leadership for everyone. These types of leaders create “blind faith” that attracts followers but does offer leadership opportunities for everyone. When expectations are lowered, so are outcomes.

Look around, you know who the self-serving leaders are in any organization. A powerful leader has great passion for the organization’s vision and mission. No person is more or less important in the organization. Some people will have more responsibility.

In schools, we need to tell the students what they can accomplish rather than what they cannot accomplish. In order for any school to reach full potential, leaders need to be empowered. Your leadership ability increases exponentially by the number of leaders you create in your organization. Serving leaders value the team. We should spend our resources creating leadership schools that are solving real-world problems rather than sticking our future in a box and over-testing. Stay ready for success!

Frank Rudnesky:  #the LeaderShip author and middle school principal.

FrankRudnesky@gmail.com @DrFrankRud