4. Lead by Example

4. Lead by Example

“You can evaluate a person’s character by how well she treats someone she doesn’t know.”

Some people say, “Do as I say not as I do.”  I’m sure someone’s parent said that to them at some point, but as a leader, always demonstrate the behavior you want the people around you to emulate. Whether it’s your colleagues, students, relatives, or children, be the person you want to see around you.

When I speak to students about leadership, I let them know that not only does everyone have the potential to be a leader, the easiest way to lead is by example. You don’t have to be the captain of the team, the star of the play, or the loudest mouth, but be the person that works the hardest in and out of the classroom. Be the person that does the right thing even when other people are not doing the right thing.

We have used Sean Covey’s, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens for part of our student leadership training. The first habit, Be Proactive, is easy for me to explain. Imagine a soccer game. When you look around, you’ll notice two types of players: the players that wait for the ball (reactive) and the players that hustle after the ball (proactive).

My dad always told me to hustle. Even if you are not the most talented, the coaches will notice. He was right. Coaches always noticed the kids that hustled, and the great coaches used those kids as examples of the doing the right thing. Unfortunately, just as there are adults that never reach their potential, there are students all the time who refuse to reach their potential because they never work hard.

Leadership translates into the same work ethic in the classroom. There are students that work their hardest to achieve a B and there are students who do just what they have to do but achieve an A. What is the difference?

I’ll take the person on my team that might be less talented but works their hardest and always hustles. In the crunch, that person will succeed, and your team will succeed. This same philosophy will help you succeed in all aspects of your life. I will take the person that works hard but achieves less over the person that does not work to their potential but has a higher aptitude. In the long term, the hardest worker will be more successful and so will your organization. Work hard, be successful, have fun.

I tell students all the time that if everyone in New Jersey (that’s where we live) worked to their potential, half the problems we have would be solved. It’s always important that other people in your organization see you “Walk the Talk.”

The quote: To Live, To Learn, To Love, To Leave a Legacy came from Stephen R. Covey. We created a tile Wall of Acceptance in the lobby of our school using the quote as a center piece. At our breakout session at a national conference in Minneapolis, we displayed pictures of the tiles created every year by our students to leave their legacy. At least one person in our audience heard our teachers speak from the heart about the Wall and its importance to connecting people to our school. You never know who’s going to listen and how it turns out. Sometimes, we never hear the fruits of our efforts but this story impacted my life just as it did everyone else that heard it.

Dr. Rudnesky - quick story you have to hear !!!!

A few years back our former principal heard you guys speak at the Jostens Renaissance National Conference. (Minnesota I believe.) The message was live, love, learn, leave a legacy. Well she misplaced who said it, but she loved it. A year ago she was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. She died July 29. SHE was Bear River Middle School!! At her memorial we made 1000 wrist bands with Live, Love, Learn, Leave a Legacy. Shortly thereafter our Renaissance Advisor found where we got the quote.

IT WAS YOU GUYS!! DESTINY MAN!!!! AWESOME!!!!!

The story gets more interesting:

Eight years later, as the second edition of this book was being edited, I attended the twenty fifth Annual Jostens Renaissance Conference. Right before our last breakout session, our school won the Renaissance Storyteller Award for a picture of our lobby and an essay description. This was literally two hours before the session. I wanted to highlight the center piece of the award and our school lobby.

The session presentation was rearranged to show pictures of the lobby so everyone saw the impact of the Visible, Tangible, Walk-a-roundable (V,T,W) imagery. I connected the visuals to the story of Bear River Middle School.  As I was displaying pictures and telling the story, a lady in the third row started to cry. She held up her wristband to show it was one from the memorial of their principal. She said, “That is my school and our former principal.” I cannot explain the karma or the timing. Some things just happen. All the other workshops and sessions I facilitated were prepared weeks in advance. For some reason, this session became more personal to allow further dialogue.

Everything you do matters.

Most of your inspiration you’ll never know about. Sometimes it comes to you. Inspire anyway.